Sunday, July 5, 2009

Kiddie hour online

I've enjoyed the chat that bastin has reported in his blog. Often it's way too funny. Today, I played in $10,000 guaranteed tournament on Ultimate Bet that they call The Dime and bastin's blog gave me the idea to save this.

BOATAFLOA222: dumb idiot u dont no value
Notice the spelling of don't and no. Because it's in a chat box, I'll cut them some slack, but still.

TEXASDAVEO: you dont know value hur hur hur
BOATAFLOA222: nope u dumb ***** pot better
TEXASDAVEO: ull be out soon
BOATAFLOA222: no i wount dude
TEXASDAVEO: u need enlish class
That's the pot calling the kettle black.
TEXASDAVEO: hahahaha

This could get interesting. Definitely worth the $10 I paid to play in this donkey-fest.

BOATAFLOA222: u need poker lessons mr. pots
Is that like the pots calling the kettles black?

TEXASDAVEO: looks like im good
BOATAFLOA222: yeah that wont last long
BOATAFLOA222: mine will

TEXASDAVEO: im rooting for you
TEXASDAVEO: hahahaha
I'm rooting for you to lose -- now that's telling him.

BOATAFLOA222: thats charming
More pot calling the kettle black.

BOATAFLOA222: ur adopted
BIGBEAR_007: ?
TEXASDAVEO: im a twin
TEXASDAVEO: came outta moms cooze with twin brother
BOATAFLOA222: that still dosent stop u from being adopted
Good point.
BIGBEAR_007: what does being adopted have to do with anything
BIGBEAR_007: what are you 9
Probably more like 8, but who's counting?

TEXASDAVEO: agressive play usually rewaded
That's why I love these cheap tournaments. Everybody's an expert.
TEXASDAVEO: whoops two gs

TEXASDAVEO: i guess the only thing not to fold is AA
This is great advice! Maybe this dope is smarter than I thought!!

TEXASDAVEO: chip n chair
He had 2080 at the time.

TEXASDAVEO: who folded a dime
TEXASDAVEO: i folded str8

TEXASDAVEO: valu valu valu
THECHEK: aww i was really rooting for flying donut
THECHEK: comeback of the century, could have made a movie on it
TEXASDAVEO: valuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

At this point I had the nut flush, so:
MEMPHIS-MOJO: Texas Dave, you have more chips than boatafloa222

Sure enough, he called my all in.


BOATAFLOA222: not many
This was after I doubled up.
Heheh, RaceBanon1 jumps in and needles him.

TEXASDAVEO: good play
TEXASDAVEO: gotta squash flush draws

Next hand, BigBear_007 wins, but TxDave has to chime in:
TEXASDAVEO: bear goo play

Next hand, I'm in the BB and get a freebie with 5-7. The flop is 8-5-2, checked around. Turn is another 5 giving me trips. Checked around. River is a 3, I bet 100 and TexasDaveO calls.

TEXASDAVEO: dude u own me
MEMPHIS-MOJO: gettin' lucky

BOATAFLOA222: u got it card rack
TEXASDAVEO: ull be gone soon
BOATAFLOA222: im afaid not
TEXASDAVEO: ill laugh when ur done son
BOATAFLOA222: ull be gone first
TEXASDAVEO: pretty soon u will be like a drownding rat
TEXASDAVEO: betting playing loose
TEXASDAVEO: trying to catch
TEXASDAVEO: glub glub
BOATAFLOA222: ohhh dont u worry
"glub, glub," = good one.

THECHEK: narrowing the field ...
TEXASDAVEO: easy come easy go
TEXASDAVEO: u were done a sec ago

TEXASDAVEO: great bet
From someone who wouldn't know a great bet if it came up and bit him on the knee.
THECHEK: yea luck change 360 i guess
Um, dude, you may mean 180.
BOATAFLOA222: yeah want up or out
Making his excuses ahead of time.
TEXASDAVEO: this suks

TEXASDAVEO: folding waiting for position
That's what I love -- FREE lessons, wheee.
TEXASDAVEO: all in on dry pot
This advice from an "expert" playing in the $10 game.
BOATAFLOA222: i know thats part of being up or out

At this point I was moved to a new table, dammit. The new table didn't live up to the first one. I guess all the pimply-faced teenagers had been knocked out.


  1. I couldn't make up something that funny.

  2. Yeah, these guys kill me. You feel like asking: If you are so good, why are you playing in the $10 tournament?

  3. They sound like they are 10 years old. Very funny